We are training our son to sleep in his own bed at the moment. Having grown accustomed to having his mother beside him, always ready to sooth him back to sleep, it has been a challenging transition for him. And he isn’t afraid to share that he’s upset, so our whole household has shared the [...]
Earlier this week, I was asked whether I could share a secret for successful negotiations and “getting your own way”. As I replied, the most important ‘secret’ is to know what you really want. In other words: Know your outcome. It’s the first step of the old USF (Ultimate Success Formula) or NSF (NLP Success [...]
Satisfaction depends not merely on having goals, but on having the right goals. Failing to understand this… can lead sensible people down self-destructive paths. Daniel Pink in Drive Goals are powerful and useful. They can help move us forward and create a whole new world. Yet they only give us fulfillment to the extent that [...]
One of the exercises from Flourish is something that Seligman calls “What Went Well”. Here’s how Marty explains it: Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep. Write down three things that went well today and why they went well… The three things need not be earthshaking in [...]
What do we want? What do you want? Happiness? Success? Love? Peace? A sense of purpose and meaning? Intention is an important part of NLP. From “old school” techniques like the 6-Step Reframe (or N-Step Reframe), Grinder’s OIC Pattern, Dilts’ Neurological Levels, to the Virtual Question/ Primary Question process, Values and Logical Levels, getting beyond the surface to the [...]
Many trained in New Code NLP are interested in recoding existing patterns. Existing NLP formats can have great value when we can distill their underlying pattern rather than slavishly sticking with a preexisting rigid format. Here is one attempt at recoding Robert Dilts’ Neurological Levels prepared by Daniel Smith: If you can imagine holding a [...]
The other night, after the best part of a pitcher of a surprisingly tasty peach whiskey drink, I was speaking with a friend about music. Yihan is an accomplished musician, who was telling me about how she experiences a very interesting altered state when she is playing sometimes. She described it as being a state [...]
Being “in the zone” can be an incredible feeling. Whether it’s that feeling of making a presentation “just right”, or being in a negotiation when things “just work”, or hitting the golf ball “perfectly”, when things work for us, when we are at our very best, it can be amazing. New Code Games are typically [...]