上次我们的精准语言NLP体验沙龙非常火爆，听完后很多学员都感叹两小时太短了，意犹未尽，还希望继续多了解。所以本月双语NLP体验沙龙继续锁定精准语言，继上次的“换框法”之后，本次的话题是：检定语言模式。

检定语言模式是通过聆听发现对方思维的局限和误区，通过提问，帮助对方化解困惑，清晰思路。是由理查德·班德勒和约翰·葛林德在研究了完形疗法大师弗里兹·佩尔斯和家庭治疗大师弗吉尼亚·萨特尔在治疗中运用的语言技巧。

他们发现这两位大师有一套极为有效的发问和回应技巧，从受导者口中取得大量有用的讯息，同时又使得受导者重组他的内心世界，因而在思想、心态及行为上有所改变，检定语言模式便是由此发展而来。

在本次双语NLP沙龙上我们会设计三种语言模式以及化解的方法：

1. 猜臆式
2. 因果式
3. 能力限制式 

让我们一起来探究语言的奥秘吧！

• 时间：5月21日晚 7－9点
• 沙龙语言：英文授课，中文翻译
• 地点：上海静安区新闸路831号丽都新贵7L室，近石门二路
• 投资：40RMB （提前支付，淘宝链接） 60RMB （现场支付）

导师介绍：

导师：Daniel Smith

Daniel曾跟随NLP两位创始人Dr John Grinder和Dr Richard Bandler学习，Daniel获得了由Dr John Grinder认证的NLP培训师资格，也是居住在中国大陆首位也是迄今唯一一位获得了NLP新代码培训师(New Code NLP trainer)资格认证的培训师。

Daniel在2010年底获得了另一位NLP创始人Dr Richard Bandler认证的神经催眠再模式化专家执行师(Specialist Practitioner in Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning ™)资格。Daniel还是NLP研究生导师，拥有颁发澳大利亚政府认证的NLP研究生文凭的资格。

Daniel拥有MBA、心理学、法学、创新管理等五个学位，亦是空手道四段黑带持有者。

Daniel 每年都花一两个月的时间飞往国外参加NLP先驱们的课程，只有不断充实自己的导师才能给学员带来不断充实的培训内容和方法；

中文翻译：刘颖丹

• 言易咨询培训总监
• NLP执行师
• 9年培训经验
• 2年NLP学习和讲座分享经验
• 英语同声传译

淘宝链接中可以增加以下内容

对于提前支付但临时有事不能出席的朋友，我们不给予退款或者延期。如果你临时有事不能出席，你可以转让给你的朋友过来听课。

上次我们的精准语言NLP体验沙龙非常火爆，很多学员都感叹两小时太短了，意犹未尽，还希望继续多了解。所以本月继续精准语言，话题是：检定语言模式。 检定语言模式是通过聆听发现对方思维的局限和误区，通过提问，帮助对方化解困惑，清晰思路。@培训师刘颖丹 详情：http://event.weibo.com/855980

Precision Language

But before that begins, we will be sharing a session on some specific Precision Language patterns. For people familiar with NLP’s Meta Model, “Modal Operators”, “Cause-Effect” and “Universal Quantifiers” will be familiar; for everybody else, these terms from logic and linguistics come out through our everyday language. And youshould be careful of them because, used well, they can make you more happy all the time. And, used poorly, they can trap you in pits of depression, anxiety and failure.

Since NLP is about helping you become more free to enjoy the greatest quality of life, these language patterns are valuable tools to learn to use with yourself and those around you.

Over just two hours, we hope to give you enough to open your eyes to the dangers of these three patterns, enjoy a person experience of NLP, enough that you can practise these tools further.

Presented by: Daniel Smith
Translated by: Yingdan Liu

When: Tuesday 21 May, 7-9pm
Where: 7L, Ladoll International Hotel, 831 Xinzha Rd at Shimen Road
Investment: 60RMB at the door or 40RMB in advance here.

Maybe you meant something different from what they meant. Or you didn’t write things down because they seemed so clear when you were speaking about it, only to discover that your interpretation ended up very different from their’s? Or maybe they just didn’t listen at all.

This Thursday night you can join us for a China NLP session on the Precision Language of NLP.

We will be exploring:

• How to cut through fluff and ambiguity to get clear and precise understanding,
• An introduction to the Precision Model, an elegant refinement of the Meta Model, and
• Being more precise, persuasive and vivid in your daily communication.

Topic: Precision Language of NLP
Trainer: Daniel Smith
When: 7-9pm, Thursday April 25, 2013
Venue: Speakeraid office – 7L of Ladoll Suites, 831 Xinzha Road at Shimen Road.
Charge: 50RMB

This session will be translated into Chinese – for these details in Chinese, please see here.

The first way that NLP can help increase your Influence Quotient is to help you focus on your intention. Influential communicators are powerful and congruent; they have found a way to get all their butterflies flying in formation so that their words, their tonality and their gestures are aligned to communicate a single message. For some people, this sort of alignment comes naturally; they say what they deeply mean and deeply mean whatever they say. For the rest of us, our own doubts – about ourselves or about what we are communicating – can come through even about something that we feel passionate about. By identifying, understanding and aligning with the intention of our message, we can immediately become more influential.

An easy way to do this is through Grinder’s Outcome, Intention, Consequences pattern. Augmenting this with the Core States process (covered in our Practitioner training) can turn this elegant framework into a transformative process.

Another way to amplify your Influence Quotient is to work on your state. As a communicator, whether you are making a sales presentation, negotiating with your boss, speaking with your spouse or even your child, your state might be the biggest predictor of your ability to influence those around you. One of our recent participants told of how when he was on the ATP Tour (men’s professional tennis), a very young Boris Becker walked into the dressing room. This was before Becker had established himself by being the youngest ever Wimbledon Champion, and despite being surrounded by greats including Ivan Lendl, Becker’s “presence” so totally filled the room that everybody went silent. When you are communicating and want to be more influential, check your state! Take an inventory:

• How are you breathing?
• What is your posture?
• What are you focusing upon?
• What are you saying – to yourself, and to those around you?

But how can we change our state? Other than changing your physiology as I mentioned just before, changing your submodalities can have a powerful impact. By changing submodalities, one of my clients moved a negative, nagging, annoying voice that was leaving him immobilized with fear into a supportive, seductive reminder of the important risks for which he needed to prepare.

What are these magical submodalities? In the last example, the location of the voice and the sound quality are both examples of submodalities. For example, if you could imagine a beautiful picture, and really look at it, where do you see it? Straight in front of you? Up to the right? How far away is it? Is it in vivid colour or black and white? These are all examples of submodalities.

When I was a university student, I remember how through the semester the assignments and exams felt a long way away yet the day before an assignment was due or the night before an exam, the reality of that deadline would creep up on me and be straight in front or even on top of me! By pushing that internal representation of the assignment or exam away, I could relax and focus even amid intense pressure.

As a student of influence, notice how you are using submodalities to internally represent your message. How attractive does your message seem to you? How could you make it even more attractive or even seductive? What could you do to communicate that to your audience?

Intention, State and Submodalities are powerful tools for increasing our ability to influence those around us. Another tool that we can use to increase our Influence Quotient is that of Perceptual Positions. Merely recognizing that there are multiple perspectives at all can help us better frame and transfer our thoughts and feelings; the Perceptual Positions exercise (what we refer to as “Moving Chairs”) of moving from 3rd to 1st to 2nd to 3rd for a specific context, observing from a non-attached 3rd Position and a congruent 2nd Position, and recognizing that 1st Position is, while immensely valuable and important, just one perspective, can be very helpful. Try it out for yourself – notice how much your Influence Quotient lifts when you deliberately shift perceptual positions.

There is a lot that NLP can do to help you become more influential. In the two hours that we had to play with, exploring Intention, State, Submodalities, and Perceptual Positions was pretty ambitious… but good fun.

From the first moment, I was struck by the similarities between what was being offered to these couples and what we explore in NLP. Some of the aspects that stood out to me:

1. How we feel about an experience depends on what we are focusing upon. Taking an experience and focusing on an unpleasant interpretation and we’ll feel bad; Take the same experience and focusing on a more positive interpretation or explanation and we’ll feel better. In NLP, we just call this “Reframing“.
2. Communication is more than just words. When we are connecting with someone, we will tend to use similar postures, gestures and tonalities. In the show, they had a couple watch other couples, calibrate who were connecting and who they thought weren’t, and even approach two couples to check that their interpretation was correct. Of course this is the basis of what we explore as “Rapport” and what the couples did was almost the same as one of the first exercises I experienced in my NLP training.
   (Hint: If you can hear their conversation, you’re probably too close!)
3. Couples who worked together found that they couldn’t separate their work life from their home life. So they started wearing different clothes when they were in “work mode” from when they shifted into “home mode”. This is a form of what we call in NLP, “Anchoring“.

I’m regularly surprised at how much of what I have learned explicitly through NLP shows up in daily life – and how much of a difference it can make!

In this spirit, we’re offering a China NLP event on the afternoon of 10 March in Shanghai. Led by NLP Trainer, Daniel Smith, Join us from 2pm to explore how you can use NLP to improve the quality of your intimate relationships.

Love and Intimacy with NLP
Sunday, March 10, from 1:30pm in English and from 4pm with translation into Chinese
100RMB – and bring your partner for free

[contact-form]

While confronting for many, the results were clear enough to secure the attention of Bandler and Grinder; he is considered by many to be one of the original models of NLP along with Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Milton Erickson. His influence can be identified explicitly in books including Whispering in the Wind and implicitly elsewhere.

Frank passed away on 10 February, 2013.

The work of Provocative Therapy appears set to be continued through individuals who worked with and studied Frank, notably including Nick Kemp. Nick will be coming to Asia again to offer a series of workshops later this year.

Many of us are trapped in our thinking. We allow other people to “make” us angry (or happy or sad). We respond predictably when people push our buttons. We fixate upon specific internal representations of events and people. A primary focus for the application of NLP patterns is to restore the freedom, choice and flexibility that allows us to respond differently.

Language can trap us. If I was to say that my son makes me angry I sacrifice my flexibility and give away my power and ability to choose an appropriate response. Yet so many of us do it. The Meta Model, Precision Model and Verbal Package offer direct ways of challenging these distortions of reality – in this case, by recognizing that nobody can make me, or anyone else, angry.

Conditioning can trap us too. When I start to make myself a cup of coffee, I pour in a sugar or two, without even evaluating how much sugar would taste best. And, in reality, different coffee demands different amounts of sugar! If a grave is just a rut with the ends kicked out, we can recognize that while habits and conditioned responses help streamline our experiences, it is so easy to trap ourselves in this conditioning. Collapsing anchors and setting up new anchors are fast and remarkably easy ways of regaining that choice.

When I think about broccoli, I imagine a piece that is dark green, glistening with water droplets, that looks so fresh that it could have just come from the garden. I can smell the freshness and health, and want to eat it. If instead I imagine a piece that looks like it’s spent the past hour in a steamer – so it’s floppy, the colours are washed out, and without smell or texture, it feels much less appealing. Submodalities help us become aware of how we use our internal representations to affect us – in this case, by changing my internal representations of broccoli from washed out to full of colour, I went from hating eating broccoli to loving it overnight.

The laws that apply to inorganic systems are different from the laws that apply to organic systems. Kicking a ball has reasonably predictable outcomes. Kicking a cat of the same weight will have vastly different and inherently unpredictable responses. NLP patterns are all about restoring freedom: Converting people from balls into cats.

For more on this, feel free to watch John Grinder on this YouTube clip or below if your browser permits.

You never know where Presuppositions of NLP can manifest!

State 1: Clarity
What happened in the past year?

• What were the magic moments; these are those amazing times, the experiences that you want to remember because they were wonderful.
• What did you accomplish in the past year? What are you most proud of?
• What were any other big events? Anything else that was strongly positive that you want to repeat or negative that you would want to avoid.
• What were your best decisions of the past year?

State 2: Certainty
Identify anything in your life that was once a dream. Think about any goals that you have accomplished, experiences that you made happen, physical objects that you once desired; You are after a state of certainty and confidence.

State 3: Excitement
Imagining that anything was possible – taking with you the confidence from state 2 – identify anything that you would love to be, do, have or experience. The next year is a good timeframe to focus on but if longer term ideas come up, that’s fine too. Get anything down, without censoring yourself in a fast moving brainstorm.

State 4: Focus
Identify a small number – perhaps four – specific goals for the next year. Check with your intention and make sure they are well-formed (SMART C4 if you’ve trained with me: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Resources, Timed, Control, Costs/ Consequences, Congruence). Also ask yourself “why” – what is your reason for wanting to make this happen?

State 5: Commitment
Now that you have your targets for the year, schedule your action plan. Rather than just leaving it as an idea, put the idea into specific and explicit form, ready for you to take action. The more precision in the steps, the greater the likelihood that you’ll do it. As David Allen says, Make it up, make it happen.

State 6: Momentum
Take your first step. Do something – even sobering very small – towards your targets so that you can start enjoying the small wins that can give you momentum. This helps by building your self-image (as being someone who is doing something rather than someone who will do something in the future) while also supporting you developing your new habits.

State 7: Design
Setup a suitable review process so that you can measure and review your progress. Ideally at least monthly or even weekly; the greater the shift in yourself, the greater the value of the system – if I want to create dramatic and fast results, I might want to review every week so that I can implement more feedback, faster.

Good luck and Happy New Year!

(I think the inspiration for this was from my time with Anthony Robbins)

With a maximum of 20 participants and led by leading trainer, Daniel Smith, this event will be the most intimate International-standard NLP Practitioner training in China.

Event details:
Dates: 30 May – 9 June
Thursday and Friday nights plus all-day Saturday and Sunday
Fee: 16800 but until 31 December just 14800!
Location: Shanghai

[contact-form]

You can learn more about our NLP Practitioner training here.

In this session, NLP Trainer Daniel Smith will explore what it means to be an “Agent of Change”, the deliberate use of Framing, working Content-free, and some specific interventions to suit both new-comers to NLP and more experienced participants.

5 November in Shanghai; 15 November in Beijing